My Journey To Self Love - Kassi They say a good place to begin is the start. But sometimes pinpointing the start isn’t as easy...read more..
STRIPPED DOWN - PART 5
Stripped down - The Series
My name is Sarah, and i'm gonna striiiiiiiip down. Okay so here goes. I think it’s really easy these days to look at someone and think you know everything about them. But can you ever really know? My stripped down is a little different. Is ‘being nice’ something to come clean about? I’m sure by the time I finish writing this I’ll feel liberated but as I type this honestly I’m still a little nervous.
I don’t know when exactly it was I realised how different I am to every other member of my family. Things definitely took twists and turns growing up. School was hard, I saw mother and my sisters with these fiery and fierce personalities. They went for what they want, stood up for themselves and took no prisoners. Why wasn’t I like that? I preferred the quieter life.
If someone wronged me, I’d be quick to forgive. If someone was mean to me, I’d be quick to forget. I lacked any desire for confrontation. Although from the outside people called me a ‘mug’, told me I was ‘too nice’ and allowed other people to seemingly walk all over me - I was happy being the nice girl. I’m not sure if ‘being nice’ makes you well liked, or respected - but the truth is I never thought of myself as being nice, I was just being me. My family therefore have always felt the need to protect me and as I waded through life ‘being nice’ only seemed to become my downfall.
When I broke up with my first boyfriend,
we’d been together since we were 17, all of a sudden my world was turned upside down. My family assembled (like the bloody avengers) and ferociously came to my aid. I understand now that they thought it was their obligation - as I was ‘too nice’ to say anything myself, they saw my silence as weakness. Maybe that was the first time i noticed it myself.
I was 22. The life i had planned was gone, and what I realised was that I had no idea who I was. Being perceived as weak can take its toll. My family saw how lost I was. I felt like the wounded animal in the pack that was to be protected at all costs. But this didn’t make me feel any better. I was the eldest of three girls, it was my job to protect the twins - so why had I been so indoctrinated into feeling like that was a role I just couldn’t fulfil?
Between the ages of 22 to 25, I was forced to take a real hard look in the mirror and go back to basics. Who am I? Who am I really? What do I want? What am I going to do with my life? Some pretty truly terrifying questions - and if your reading this now thinking ‘SAME’ ..just know that you’ll figure it out, and we’re all just ‘figuring it out’.
I’m 2017, I categorically decided to take a year to concentrate solely on myself. What I found was that all those years spent believing I was ‘too nice’ and weaker than everyone around me was rubbish. Choosing to forgive requires strength. Choosing to forget requires strength. Choosing to keep going, and forge a new path requires strength. Choosing to stay calm in the face of adversity requires resilience and ...strength. My silence in difficult situations, was not weakness. It was strength. Strength of character, who I am, and who I have always been.
Knowing that others will sometimes perceive your kindness and humility as weakness, is your strength. It’s my strength. And once I knew that, the rest seemed to fall into place.
I took my life and turned it back on its head, and I’m now officially the Director and Co Founder of my new fantastic start up company- The Northern Nanny! Which aims to create a fantastic support and outsourcing network for working professional parents and families.
My family adapted to the newer stronger me, and even though she took some getting used to - they definitely like her better! (Even if they don’t care to admit it!) I am more confident now, than I have ever been. I feel so at peace with my journey, and I’m so grateful for the blessings and the lessons that I experience each and every day! (Is it still cheesy if you mean it? Haha)
It’s 2019, I am so blessed to have everyone I am ever going to need around me, and so grateful they are enjoying the best version of me. And it has to be said - I think she’s pretty fabulous too!
THANK YOU SARAH for stripping down with us! Take a look at our range of nuddy soap bars below. They're all vegan friendly, plastic/cruelty/sls free and made right here in the U.K. If you're gonna strip down, make sure you do it with nuddy!